to the light

there's nothing here. nothing but darkness. deep, pitch black darkness. you can't see anything. nothing is happening, nothing will ever happen. it is nothing. nothing, nothing, and more nothing, forever and ever and ever. i feel so tired. i don't want to do this. i don't want to write this. i don't want to do anything. i want to sink, i want to fall, i want to give up. it hurts. i am so tired. i want to sleep forever in a bed of golden flowers. my body feels so heavy. none of this information makes sense. it's hard to take. i wonder how much longer i can take it. i can't move. i don't want to move. it's hard to move. i don't know. i don't know. why? why? it's not real. you're making it up. what are you doing? what is your problem? you're faking it. it's not real. you aren't real. i'm not real. none of this is real. i wish it wasn't real. why is it real? i don't understand. my face is blank. i feel so tired. it's too much to feel. i feel it all. it hurts. the abyss is endless. there is always another rock bottom. you already know this. you've heard it all before. nothing new, nothing new. it's just a cycle, a repeat. different words from a different mouth, but the same thing. it does not change. around and around and around and around and around and around and around. i don't want to write anymore. this is the abyss. you're here forever. unless you decide to leave. cherish this luxury, won't you? of course you will. how polite of you. thank you. my body is so heavy.

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