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FEBRUARY 5th, 2022

last one i remember is, i suppose was driving with my boyfriend in some gated community of sorts.
but once he started driving near the gate, he just kept going and busted through it, completely detaching the gate and having the broken pieces fly off as he kept going.
and this happened several times, busting through gates over and over for no clear reason.
eventually we stopped and suddenly figured it was bad, and had to figure out what to do, i guess somehow i figured we had to pay for it somehow.

so we’re walking along the sidewalk and on a corner in the neighborhood there’s BILL GATES walking around, BILL GATES himself.
somehow i know the best thing to do is to ask him if we can buy from him 10 or 13 car side mirrors, which, i don’t know why i said that even though what really seemed to be meant was buying new gates, if they were somehow required in this dream logic world or not i don’t know.
but he said the price would be 150 dollars each, or i could pay a different way...
that way being, taking out a tooth from my mouth for each car side mirror, and paying with those.
either way, he very reluctantly gave us his credit card information, somehow being necessary in order to make either transaction, and i took a picture of both sides, him also taking a picture of mine.
or maybe not actually, i just know i took out a credit card for some reason.
but after that, we were on our separate ways.

at “home” (which was another vaguely familiar but not quite house that i’ve never really been in before) i end up doing various things and thinking about what to do.
then i have some kind of dream within the dream or imagined thing or something where the “continuation” of the deal in either way requires going through some weird place with a very large and suspiciously satan-like being.
so i ultimately just decide, uhhh i guess i’ll just pay for the gates myself, can’t be that hard.
and so BILL GATES, MASTER of GATEs, was avoided.

well, i guess that’s it.
feels like i learned something, but i'm not entirely sure what it is.

JANUARY 31st, 2022

last dream was another “various seemingly unconnected things happening” dream.

one part i remember was being in some kind of darkly lit kitchen.
i think actually the same kitchen that sam hyde filmed some videos in, some kind of apartment.
but i was thinking about something or other, and i caused sort of on purpose the floor to fall out from under me and started falling infinitely.
i think i was wondering how it would feel to actually fall down forever, like having the feeling of falling last for eternity as you keep falling forever.
so that started happening, i guess it was interesting.
but eventually i got out of there or something, i mean somehow i knew i was just experimenting and it wasn’t “real”.

uhhh what else, one part i was at some kind of shopping area or something, mostly just at this kiosk or shop in the very corner of somewhere in a weird spot.
and it was selling DS consoles and DS games and stuff for some reason.
and i think i tried to buy some, but was refused somehow.
i think someone was with me but i forget who.

most important part of the dream though, or most significant, i was walking around in i think the same house area from the dream before this, in the living room.
it was sort of bluish and dim, almost makes me think it was the same place as where the kitchen and falling forever part was, maybe that was before this part.
but i remember i wasn’t sure what to do and was thinking about things or something, and i heard my moms voice calling me from the hallway.
to the left there was a small hallway, very small, almost less like a hallway and more of a square cubby vent hole thing that was barely tall enough to stand in, and with plain white texture on all sides.
i go to the end of the hall and it ends in a sort of T section.
to the left is a short alcove spot with just a single thing in it taking up the space, i think it was a little robot guy or something, maybe even that ROB guy from uhhhh, nintendo games or wherever he first appeared.
i don’t think it was responsive, or perhaps i just didn’t try to talk to it.
but anyway, to the right was a slightly longer hallway that i think ended in some kind of obscuring light or fog or something like it went somewhere, and it was where the voice was coming from, so i went that way.
and as i walk through suddenly i sort of “open my eyes” and i’m somewhere else.

it’s very hard to keep my eyes open, and it’s like i can’t quite do it completely, almost like when you’re woken up suddenly in real life and can hardly keep your eyes open at all, like it’s physically difficult.
but even squinting through, everything is extremely vivid, almost like it was completely real somehow, more real than usual.
this has happened in dreams sometimes but it seems rare, i don’t know if it signifies anything in particular or what it signifies, or why or how it happens.
but it was extremely vivid.
and what happened was i seemed to be sitting on a couch, in a house that seemed unfamiliar to me, but my family was there and were all sitting nearby on the couch or on a sofa seat or whatever, and there were things around and presents, so it seemed to be christmas.
christmas morning, because the light was shining very brightly through the windows, a lot of natural light.
i seemed to be sitting at the end of the largest couch, facing some kind of modern fireplace area some short distance away, maybe with a television on top or something too and various things.
i didn’t look around behind me or anything but i was facing down the left direction of the couch, where everyone was sitting, at the end the furniture was sort of aligned in an L shape so the smaller couch seat was facing the right after the corner, you know.
past the couches was the windows and maybe glass door and things where the light was coming in, i don’t know if i saw outside really but it seemed maybe to be the side of a street or something, definitely some kind of suburban neighborhood, or well, maybe it was.
i just figured there were buildings i think, maybe over the walls of a backyard.

to my right at my feet also was a bicycle i believe, one of the things that made me immediately think it was christmas or something.
last thing was the person to the very right of me, i think was my mom because of the voice but maybe was my sister, i wasn’t sure somehow.
but she was handing me some kind of card with i think my picture and various forms of information written on it, almost like a drivers license but extremely dense with information.
because of my squinting though, i couldn’t make out anything that was said on it at all.
i tried, as i also tried to take in as much information around as possible, but that’s all i got from it i think.
and eventually it ended, or i was taken out of it or something.
i don’t think i remember anything else from the dream.

JANUARY 29th, 2022

only really have vague moments from the last dream, but dont know what exactly was happening.
i just know it was set at someone's house or something like that.
and doing various things, like uhhhhhhh, i think i ordered food or something and some of it was waiting for it to get there.
but when it came it seemed to be empty, i also opened whatever packaging it came in like it was an oblivion container with a list of the items inside and it was just random things like utensils and sauce packets and nothing else.
but maybe the food appeared after some kind of delay or something, i forget.
i remember there were some various people coming and going through the house or something, like some little elf guy or something.
well not that little, more like elder scrolls elf (more oblivion brain i guess because i was playing that last night) than cartoon elf.

also there was some other part where i was exploring what was apparently some kind of back yard/garage combo or something attached to the house with my boyfriend, i keep forgetting if it was enclosed or not so its a little confusing, i guess maybe it was enclosed but very spacious and i almost think its open only because it seemed to have a similar layout to a particular "industrial yard" area i see in dreams sometimes.
but i guess in this area we were just looking at random things or maybe looking for something i forget, but there were a lot of random things and boxes lying around.
i remember one thing was an assembled trampoline that appeared to be haphazardly covered with cardboard or something, like they were trying to box it up but failed, i commented on it in the dream or something identifying it as a trampoline because somehow it wasn't immediately obvious because of the odd state it was in.

and uhhh guess thats it, dont think i remember anything else.

JANUARY 26th, 2022

had a dream that was somewhat unpleasant i remember, or at least for me in the dream.
it was kind of weird though, i don’t really understand what it was about.

it’s like i was trying to gather up my stuff and put it in some car in a parking lot properly or something, not even to drive away but just have it in the car and the car parked right, but i continuously failed to complete this task.
like there were a few cars to try and use, i think three of them, at least two of them belonging to my parents.
and they were sort of scattered across this large parking lot/indoor half-parking-lot-half-random other things.
so i try to do it with one and it’s like i cant get the car parked in the spot properly or something, so i have to move it or fumble around with things, and it’s stressful like i feel retarded or like i’m running out of time.
or there was some other part where i try another car, but forget the stuff, so have to go back for it.
but then i start going back and the parking lot begins to become shut down for some kind of event where people are sitting, so it’s like i’m running out of time and fumbling with things and someone gets mad that i’m in their way blocking their view or something, things like this just happening constantly.

i don’t know if i ever really succeed at the task, i think the dream just ends at some point.
seems to be a common dream for me though, maybe the most common of these “mundane” or “task-focused” type dreams for me, which are in general less common compared to more exploratory or absurd types.
but this seems to be a common situation for this type of dream for me, like “trying to do simple (although usually absurd) tasks but being blocked and fucked up at every turn inexplicably”.
usually seems to involve driving or cars too for some reason.
feels like it makes sense what it represents but putting it into words feels redundant, i mean, i think it’s pretty obvious.
it is just interesting how the “simple tasks block” effect translates in the dream though, like it’s very vague and abstract but it’s obvious even in the dream that there should be no good reason why i can’t park the car or carry the stuff or whatever, it just gets muddled somehow, my abilities are almost completely cut off.
like that kind of dream where you’re “moving through molasses” and going slowly, except it’s like a sort of complete motor skills molasses instead of just flat speed reduction.
very interesting.

JANUARY 22nd, 2022

my dream was like SKYRIM but with GUN'S.

no but really i remember some things, almost forgot to write it down but remembered again.
was sort of like a kind of dream i have sometimes, or at least part of it, like a “extremely large open spaces exploration and being able to run really fast and jump really high and stuff to traverse it” (i feel like there was another part more “traditionally” like this where i was exploring some big open desert-y place like this but maybe that’s just remembering previous dreams).
some variation in that.
i remember there was one part i was running through some kind of grassy area, almost like a golf course, but it was also mostly covered from the sunlight by massive trees, like a forest.
i think i’ve been in areas like it in dreams before, this one was more well kept and golf course-y than usual though.
also there were like groups of chickens or something in various places, i thought one group was following me to attack so i started going near another group to lure them in that direction to see what happens and they just sort of ran into the other group to attack them instead.
i dunno, some weird video gamey intuitive thing.

i also remember some part where i was falling down?
some other extremely large and expansive cavern type zones or something.
and just kept falling and falling, eventually i got to water but kept falling as fast as i was before almost as if i wasn’t there, in water i mean.
but somehow i knew i would start running out of air after a certain time, so i prepared to “teleport out” somehow when i had enough.
i guess i wanted to see how far i could go down.
eventually i did start running out though and then just teleported back, which sent me to some outside area near an elevator, sort of like a hotel courtyard area.
i think my mom was there also for some reason, but i don’t know if i interacted with her.

JANUARY 6th, 2022

had a dream where i was slightly aware somehow and did some exploring.
i think i forget a lot of things but i know i was in some place, but then saw somewhere i had seen before and went through again.
must have been some exterior area and then seeing some kind of, almost like a parking garage type entrance where it goes underground a bit, and recognizing it’s somewhere i’ve been before and leads somewhere else and i have some thought of “maybe i can find somewhere/something new”.

seems like this aspect of the dream was remembering this one (referencing 11/15/2021), or parts of it like the mansion area which i’ll write here in a second.
but anyway, down the ramp entrance thing seemed to be just a metal door off to the side or something like that, i think leading into a little hallway before going somewhere else, but not sure.
next area though was generally pretty open, and i had the ability to jump really high and be really floaty somehow to get around.
almost like a weird game level or something that i was cheating around a bit, there were even half life 2 combine-like enemies shooting at me that i tried to shoot back with finger guns occasionally (although somehow i didn’t really need to and they weren’t a true threat).
eventually i get over some wall or something or through an entrance, and i think find the mansion area from the dream i referred back to.
in this dream i’m slightly more careful i suppose.

in the little entrance foyer there’s some different stuff, like random things lying around like a mattress kind of implying someone hanging around there, more random things plastered on the wall, like in some corner there was some posters or something with NAKED CARTOON GUYS on it, seemingly indicating the presence of some kind of sex room behind it or something, although i never went in there.
but i go through the entrance, the inside of the mansion is different from last time, the lights are on although still dim, and there’s a single person, like a janitor, mopping up the floor.
and i try to go further but he gets kind of upset with me for being there and tells me to stop, so i do and go back to the little entrance foyer.

after that i guess i look around a bit, i remember i see a mirror surface on the wall.
and for some reason i have some weird thing with that, like a long time ago i read something about how looking in mirrors in dreams tends to show something scary and that jeeves me out a lot for some reason, so even if that doesn’t always happen it still creeps me out and i avoid it even in dreams.
so in the dream i had sort of that moment, but accidentally looked at it anyway, although it of course wasn’t terrifying.
it was interesting though, my reflection had their eyes closed, like le yume nikki or something.
thought it was interesting, but was still a little creeped out in the dream and somehow made my dog show up for a second which spooked me for some reason (it didn’t attack or anything, i was just on edge even in the dream and it’s sudden appearance startled me).
after that though uhhhh, i guess that janitor guy came into the room to hang out, i dunno if we talked or anything but i get some feeling he was showing me around or something.
i don’t know, i don’t remember much after this, or if i even go anywhere else before waking up.

i know it was one of those dreams though where at the point of waking, it was almost like a slow “letting go” of the dream and “gaining consciousness” or something, like it slowly becomes more and more of waking consciousness to the point you’re just imagining things now to continue and can open your eyes at will if that makes sense.
but uhhh yeah, think that’s it.

NOVEMBER 30th, 2021

i remember some of my dream again.

i remember the "main" part of it somehow was just going on some driving trip with my dad or something, but we were lisrtening to some kind of radio story or something.
it was very long and i was sort of like, imagining it vividly in the dream or something, so i could sort of see it but was also still just in the car listening to it.
i forget what the story was though somehow even though it was most of what happened, i feel ike it was something to do with a lonely man and his cat, or maybe something in space, like a rocket having to do some maneuvre or something, some story set in space.
i dont know.

but the important part, or what feels strangely important anyway, is the entire time we were driving there was this sort of extremely large tower of sorts in the distance.
almost like a radio tower and a skyscraper mixed together somehow, it looked technological and complex, complex to the point of being very strange looking and convoluted, like it was mashed together with various unfitting parts just stacked on top of each other or around each other over time.
but it was extremely large, like half life 2 citadel sized almost, and you can see it from anywhere.
and i seemed to take note of this structure as we were driving.
we finally got home after the radio story had ended, and there were a bunch of family members hanging around for some reason, like there was an event of some kind.
i remember some "family member" (they looked like a high elf model from morrowind, i guess that's still in my head enough to show up in dreams) was asking why we were out for so long, he seemed suspicious of something but i wasn't sure what, i added that we just took a long time because we wnated to hear the whole radio story but he seemed suspicious of that answer, like he had some other reason in his head for why.

but anyway, after that is the part that feels weirdly important for some reason, or maybe it just spooked me and that's all, dunno.
but i was sitting around after that and looking out some window or something, at the tower.
which feels weird to think about actually, because thinking about the area in the dream it didn't seem like there was any window where i was looking, but i could see it anyway.
i think that might be because this area is a lot like a real place i've been which has no windows there, so maybe it's like my real memory and this altered dream place were sort of conflicting with each other but making sense in their own ways kind of thing.
well, i was looking at the tower and for some reason imagining it falling over, worrying that it might, imagining what might happen or something.
and about 30 seconds later it did, it started falling over and collapsed to the ground very spectacularly.
everyone else saw it too, and sort of gasped and stuff like you'd expect, i guess.
somehow my dad made some joke about it that made everyone laugh, as a massive dust cloud emerged from it that made me nervous somehow, i think i thought of it as some kind of explosion and worried there would be some shockwave that hits us or something, but everyone else seemed calmed by the joke.

then the dream ended, and i woke up suddenly.
that's all i remember.

NOVEMBER 15th, 2021

keep trying to remember my dreams, but i keep forgetting lately.
i remember a bit of the last one though so i WILL write it down now.

i remember i was in some room with fold up chairs watching some kind of performance, someone singing a song i think, and before it started for some reason i decided i was going to fall asleep during it to intentionally avoid listening, but this decision was out of some kind of respect for the material although i don’t know what that means.
but i did, and eventually i woke up (inside the dream) sort of with my eyes still closed and the singer was up in my face singing at me for some part of the song that involved addressing someone asleep during the song, so i guess maybe that’s why i did it, to serve some ARTISTIC PURPOSE.
so i kept my eyes closed but was smiling or something, i guess that’s like a nervous response of mine to a situation like that so i just did it in the dream.
but anyway after that i woke up (inside the dream) opening my eyes, the performance was over, people leaving, putting up the chairs, i decided to leave the room and go somewhere else.

somehow i pass through a multitude of chambers or hallways that i don’t remember and end up outside, somehow i get the idea that i want to look for people, it’s dark outside sort of like a courtyard area, there’s a big building to my left and i go inside.
it’s a large mansion-like building, white marble looking material in most places, extremely ornate and detailed, i start running through it to try and find someone because i’m set on that for some reason, and it’s also very dark and unsettling for some reason so it’s like i rush through it so nothing “scary” happens.
but i pass through a lot of big tall rooms with balconies, or look over into big dining rooms and stuff to the sides while running around.

eventually i see somewhere lit up and run in, it has people in it it seems so i slow down, it’s like some big concert hall almost or opera house with a big circular set of seats and a stage.
the “people” there are all puppet/muppet looking creatures, very simplistic ones i mean, all hanging around the seats.
and the seats are really big, like i’m walking through the space between them like they’re hallways.
when i talk to or pass by the puppet people they all say something about my 6th birthday, it’s so nice that it’s your 6th birthday, i hope you’re happy today!
i keep looking around this area, but i think around this point is when the dream ends.

APRIL 24th, 2021

its another "mall exploration" dream again.
i dont remember most of the details though.
just feels like what happens in most mall exploration dreams.
exploration...... in a mall-like area....

i feel like it kind of had an outside area, like the one i described in the last dream here.
there was a pool.
i remember a part that seems to happen kind of often in my dreams too.
where i wander into a sort of house or apartment like area that seems to be occupied, although i dont actually see anyone.
i just start to get the feeling like i'm intruding, and then go back.
somewhere near the end of the dream i guess i'm with a friend or something, i dunno who.
i guess weve been hanging out in the mall before this point in the dream, but i feel tired and want to go home even though he wants to stay.
so i sort of negotiate with him or something and make sure he'd be okay there by himself if i were to leave.
i guess he ends up being okay.
he also takes a monkey form for some reason, and i see him swinging away in some direction, deeper into the mall.
so thats cool.

funny monkey dreams.

APRIL 16th, 2021

i dont remember the start of my dream last night, but i remember i died somehow and went to the afterlife, so it seemed.
and i ended up in "heaven" which was like, an airplane or train or something, it looked like an airplane interior but sort of spacious with couches and stuff.
and some fellas, sitting around.
but i hear a disembodied voice saying there was a mistake, and i wasnt supposed to be there.
so after wandering around a minute there were guards with weapons that cornered me, and i put my hands up and surrendered and told them i knew i wasn't supposed to be there.
they escorted me to "hell", which apparently was where i was supposed to be.
"hell" was kind of like another big house complex thing, typical of my dreams with lots of big rooms and high ceilings and stuff.
except in addition to this, it was also surrounded with a red fog, so you know its hell, because its red, hell is red, red is hell.

there was like a bar or something, i dont know, i kind of just started wandering around through rooms.
but eventually i started going up and got out of hell somehow?
like the red fog was gone, and i knew i was somewhere else.
oh, and i should mention, there were a lot of people hanging around in the hell area doing their thing.
but in the area past that, there wasn't really anyone.
but anyway, this new area kind of opened up to this large courtyard/open lobby type zone with different buildings through the courtyards.
very well maintained, lots of plants and gardens.
i went through the lobby and the courtyard to a museum building of sorts, though i dont remember what was on display.
somehow i get to a sort of back area outside, and i remember trying to climb around somewhere.
there was some pipe sort of thing with like, maintenance ladders that i had to figre out how to open, and catwalks.
sort of a weird architecture that's hard to describe for some reason.
i started making my way up and around, and that's all i remember really.
i remember getting cut off somewhere and waking up immediately after, but i dont remember where.
i also remember the dream being a strangely vivid one for some reason.
cool, cute, funny, epic, etc.

thats the dream.

DECEMBER 22nd, 2019

the dream i just had was very long and complex for some reason.
i can’t remember all of it.
i remember one part where i’m at a store, like a walmart or something.
it’s a totally different layout from any store i’ve actually seen, though.
it’s hard to describe, but i’ve seen it before in dreams.
just a weird store area.
but anyway, first i walk around, and there’s this big crowd of people, with a path between them.
so i go around, and i notice there’s something going on.
in the corner, there’s chris hansen arresting a child predator, or interrogating him, and there are police officers around.
so i just walk back the way i came, trying to not get close to police or whatever, but it’s very tight.
anyway, after that i go around the store.
i find this like, bike vehicle thing, and it goes fast.
very fast, and i almost hit people, so i try to stop.
also, i think this was the last part of the dream, so i’ll continue with the rest.

there was another part where i was at home or something.
it was sorta like the party last night (EDITOR'S NOTE: probably referring to some kind of family christmas party that SUCKED) with everyone there.
but then also some random people too.
anyway, i remember looking under some television stand and finding various things in a little basket.
there were 2 extra handicam camcorders, like the one my mom has that i’ve been using.
there were some sort of old video games, like madagascar for ps2, uh, madagascar 2 for xbox, for some reason?
i don't know what else.
some other random old junk too, along with those treasures.
there was also some kind of sleepover or something with some random people.
i was sitting in some sleeping bag, and i remember somehow i got a little drunk from something.
so i kinda felt weird, almost sort of sedated and a little irritated too.
i snapped at someone for something, i don’t remember what.
i also remember an exchange with the girl sleeping next to me.
i left something i was looking at on her pillow, so she told me and i moved it.

i found some package, for me.
it was from 2016 and never opened apparently, which was strange.
so i decide to open it.
some people are around.
it’s three giant bags of minecraft brand chicken nuggets/tenders?
i have no idea.
the packaging was almost like those glow sticks you get, like black and neon colored.
there was also some kind of sticker on it, with a picture of some lizard guy or something.
saying RIP, whatever his name was.
and somehow that made me know how old this was, like it was something that happened a while ago.
anyway, there was one part, i don’t know if this was “real” or some game or something.
seemed like a game, all pixel-y and stuff.
there was all this shit, this complex area, like a field full of houses with a couple walls you could go over surrounding it, people walking around and doing all sorts of things.
there was this giant complex you could go in.
i don’t even know how to describe it.
it’s weird.
there are tons of people and tons of stuff that must do something, but you don’t know what.
it’s just, a lot.
i dunno what else.

but anyway, back to the final store part.
so, i decide to get off the bike, and i go around a bit more.
and i find myself in this strange part of the store that almost looks more like a house.
like there’s this step down into a little area with a carpet and fireplace and stuff.
and some stairs nearby, another room, stuff like that.
i start walking in here, and i hear someone else.
i look and there’s this muscular body builder guy in shorts and nothing else.
i think he says something about the bike, implying i wasn’t suppose to use it.
but i think i felt like this guy was definitely malicious, for some reason.
so i responded, but then started leaving.
i saw another guy on the stairs and knew i was gonna get chased.
so i started going, and it happened.
now i’m being chased by this group of muscular bodybuilders, and the places i’m going through get weird and complex.
still this weird sterile store type area, but it’s smaller and almost like just tunnels.
then i come out to this massive fucking temple structure, like one of those giant mexican ziggurats but with stone roads and walls all around it too.
so i go to it, start going, still being chased.
(this might be a "VIDEO GAME" part by the way, i'm not sure)
i see there’s stairs up the temple, but also... escalators?
some of which, don’t even work.
and that makes me start laughing.
but i start going up, as fast as i can.
for some reason though it’s broken at the top, so i just fall while trying to get up.
into some bottomless pit, below the temple.
and of course i respawn somehow (probably video games) so i climb it again.
this time it’s not broken somehow, so i can get all the way up.

i go inside the temple.
more chases around tunnels that i think get more and more like mines or something.
eventually i come up to some big room, but i hear them behind me.
they fall from the ceiling, and they’re right there surrounding me.
then i think it pauses, or some kind of transition happened.
also, what fell from the ceiling actually wasn’t the bodybuilders, but somehow it seemed like they were still the ones chasing me.
they were what i saw at this screen afterwards.
which, it was like some sort of concept art, like a professional drawing of sorts.
and it was some undertale type monsters that i didn’t really recognize, trying to recollect themselves after falling.
and right there in the middle is none other than JERRY, lying down on the ground.
it’s kind of a good picture so i naturally think about screenshotting it.
but somehow i don’t end up doing that.

i don’t remember much past that.
i think it ended right after.
i dunno.


NOVEMBER 22nd, 2019

i had a really long dream.
most of it i guess was basically exploring out in the mountains desert area near my house.
taking the roads out there on a bike, and then trying to find my way back.
but there were lots of places along the way.
it was lots of traveling, but i think the main destination was basically like this small town or something.
to get there, i found myself in this road with a lot of trees around.
i also passed some tiny toy or something that was going down the road by itself, like one of those wind up toys.
i picked it up to look at it, then sent it back on it’s way.
i think i angled it wrong though, and it fell in a little ditch.
but i figured it would do that eventually anyway, so i left it alone.

the small town area was pretty tiny.
more like a weird village, i guess.
there were people.
people that knew me i think.
and i remember one person that was like my mom except not or something.
she said they were making dinner, and i could stay for a little longer to eat before going home.
i was gonna do that, but then decided to leave anyways for some reason last minute.

i’m not sure how to describe the buildings in this place.
i was exploring around a little.
it feels like most buildings were very low to the ground, and everything had this sort of weird tree/leaf cover or something.
like an old fps video game area, or poorly built minecraft village.
very square.
one building was really long, kind of like a garage, made of logs it seemed.
another had some doorways and teleporters in it or something?
and it was made of like, sand wood or whatever you call it (plywood?).
another building i think was some kind of industrial or office building or something.
i went inside and went through lots of small staircases and tiny hallways and stuff.
i was going through back rooms or maintenance areas, and walking really quick because there were spiders and stuff which creeped me out.
i was also worried about getting in trouble for being there.
i’ve been in similar rooms in dreams.
i found an entrance outside and it was like a balcony area, which lead to this playground equipment place suspended above the ground for some reason?
there were some kids there using it, and i got down after realizing it was just this.
and no one really cared.

aside from that (i don't know how i got here) somehow a part of the dream was in this city area.
i knew i was spider-man or in some spider-man game or some shit, it was weird.
i didn’t have any powers really, just "spider-man".
i was still sort of on a bike.
i was sort of on the edge of the city, but a very high road on the edge, like a freeway road.
it was seemingly after sunset or something, kind of dark but not really.
the edge went off into the ocean rather than a desert.
i could step out on top of buildings, that’s basically how high up i was.
in the distance past the city were some mountains.

for some reason there was a big mecha robot that appeared.
i sort of tried to be stealthy around it so it didn’t hurt me, which was pretty easy.
somehow i destroyed it.
then i found my way into some interior area.
it was like a VIDEO GAME, so i could kind of do whatever.
like i could punch glass and shit and mess with stuff, and no one would hurt me or stop me.
so i kind of did that for a while, out of boredom, then somehow i left.
and i was back in the desert exploration on a bike part, trying to get back home.
it was pretty long seemingly.
i remember thinking and figuring out which paths to take at forks and stuff, trying to figure out where i was.
at one point i go down into the city at one area, hoping it’s my house.
then it’s sort of a staircase down to this tunnel under a road.
there’s a lady standing there that looks like a police officer, but not really.
she has some hat or something.

i go around seeing where i am.
i realize it’s this school area i’ve seen before.
i don’t know if i’ve seen it in real life, but i’ve seen it in dreams before.
it’s pretty big and complex.
there are students walking around.
i remark to myself about recognizing this area, but then i leave.
then i keep exploring.
i don’t think i find my house.
that’s all i remember.

the dream ended before i got home.

NOVEMBER 6th, 2019

i remember a couple things from last night’s dream.
first i was driving.
and i remember turning left at some T junction or whatever.
then i saw a person walking, and stopped to let them pass.
it was some old man.
but then he just goes straight for my car instead, and attempts to open my door.
so i kind of panic a little, and i’m not sure what to do.
first i try to back up and move around so he can’t hold on, but then i think he gets on top of the car or something.
he then reaches down to the other side too to try and open the door.
after that i kind of try to speed away, and i think that takes care of it somehow.
he falls off, i guess.
then i remember telling what happened to my mom while riding in a car with her driving.
i remember looking out the window, and us being on some very high up road, and i can see some kind of train track below.
perhaps some buildings or lots of shipping containers or something, and then endless desert after that.

the next part though, i don’t remember too much about it.
but basically i was in some kind of large hotel building, which was facing parallel to another one about the same size.
there were some pools and stuff at the bottom in between them.
seemed like some kind of resort or something.
it’s night time, and i can’t see much further than the buildings.
i’m in some hotel room there, and i think some other people are in there too.
i’m not sure if they’re my family, they seem like other people but i don’t know who.
they’re not aggressive to me or anything.

across the way in the other building, there’s some kind of murderer or assassin or something.
me and the people in our hotel room are trying to stop the guy somehow without him noticing, or maybe just to not get shot by him from far away.
he’s distracted with something else it seems, like he has some kind of hostage(s) or something.
i remember a part where he comes out onto his balcony with a sniper rifle beside him.
i kind of panic thinking that he’s going to see us and use it.
i think he actually shoots someone else in the distance, but doesn’t seem to notice us.
i don’t remember much else, except someone or maybe two people in our room were kids and were watching tv on the floor.
but that’s it.

weird, i guess.

OCTOBER 31st, 2019

i had a dream, i guess basically the world was ending or some shit.
i was in my mom's car while she was driving at first, i think.
then there were meteors and stuff, that started coming down, destroying shit.
it didn’t feel too scary for some reason, but i guess we decided to leave town or something because of it.
i remember at one point my mom said like “i’ve always wanted to go to (some city i don’t remember), florida, let’s go there”.
and then she asks someone how far it is and they say like “15 miles”.
i forget what happens next though.
at some point i start driving on my own.
i think there’s also some part where we’re walking along the side of some skyscraper or something, for some reason.

but anyway, the part where i’m driving alone is at night.
and there are signs of meteors hitting places, but otherwise everything is “normal”.
it seems like this area is mostly just winding highways that don’t really take me anywhere.
which is kinda cool, i guess.
i was being kind of reckless for some reason, i think.
because i figured i would die anyway or whatever, i have no idea.
but i was just speeding around i guess.
i don’t remember anything aside from that really.

cool though i guess.

OCTOBER 26th, 2019

last nights dream was a couple things.
uhhh, one part involved this museum area or something.
i was exploring, but also riding a scooter the whole time, i was making sure to stay on the scooter constantly.
there wasnt anything bad that would happen without it, i just felt like i should have it for some reason.

i forget what this “museum” was even about.
i think just some random assorted things.
there were different areas of it, and they were connected by these weird teleporter things.
which were either some weird tube you have to get sucked into,
(with those i had to put the scooter in first and then go in myself after)
or there were pressure pads of some kind.

but anyway, some of the areas included some cave-y area, which had some couple there looking around too.
in all of these areas there were various people walking around.
but this couple talked to me about something.
i think they implied that the museum had something to do with me, like i created it or maintained it or it was about me or something.
i’m not sure.
i don’t know what was even on display in this room, perhaps there were plaques of some sort with something to read.
another area was some outdoor thing i don’t remember too well.
another one was inside some bedroom in a house basically, which was weird.
it was some bedroom i don’t really recognize, decently spacious, pretty big bed.

but i remember seeing on some whiteboard in a corner or something that the theme of this room was “psychopathic art”.
i remember feeling surprised or unsure or something about that.
i think there was also like some uhhh, baby crib i think?
i dunno what else.
it seemed mostly empty, which is a lot of why the psychopath art thing confused me.
maybe it implies that psychopaths can’t really do art, i dunno.

anyway though, that’s about all i remember of the museum area right now.
the other big part i remember was almost like this video game segment or something that i was in control of, first person.
it was almost like a half life type thing but probably even more primitive, so maybe more like doom except you have freelook.
the geometry is really simple, and textures are grainy and pixel-y.
oh, and a lot of areas were pretty cramped, kinda like how those games tended to be a bit.
but anyway, the theme or place i was exploring was some kind of school it seemed.
the walls were pretty much always white though for the most part, like some kind of concrete or something.
the floor too.
not a lot of variation or indication that you’re in a school, or any building in particular really.
just hallways and rooms and stuff.
but one “level” was pretty small and simple, generally.
and if i “checked” some bookcase, which i could do apparently, it was sorta like yume nikki stuff where if you check something it can give you this full screen event that’s all weird and wacky and there’s music playing, like some art jumps out at you or pulses around.
it was something like that i think.
and at first it confused me and i thought it was just the bookcases, but then i checked another especially dense bookcase and realized it was just those ones that activated it.
so i saw whatever it was twice.
i dunno, maybe it was just the impression of something.
maybe just a sound effect or jingle, i dunno.

after that i find myself in some new area i think, which is still in a videogame.
it’s outside, it’s almost sorta like the museum area that was outside, in the way that it seems to be right on this cliff.
there’s a big cliff wall going along one side, then the places you can walk around on are like these big plateaus on the side of it, then the edges of those just go all the way down, into nothingness.
it seems to be daytime.
a lot of the cliff is sorta grassy i think.
in this area it seems like the cliff wall is rocky but the floor everywhere almost has a kind of checkerboard pattern.
it’s still green implying grass, but it’s more neon colored.
some areas of the floor here are purple too, and some walls/structures/floating platforms and stuff.
there’s basically more of a platforming obstacle course here, on the side of this cliff.
you have to try and get up somehow.
it's still first person.
it’s hard to describe the specific obstacles here but, you get basically what i mean.

the thing about this though is, there are enemies in this one.
which are actually like, numbers, hovering slightly off the ground.
but they can’t fly, so if they don’t have enough below them, they’d fall like you.
they chase you, and there’s several of them that get released and chase you as you go.
and that’s what makes the area so difficult, because they’re coming out at you all the time.
they’re sorta 3D i think too, not just like billboarded sprites.
but anyway, i try to do this and it’s SPOOKY.
but i do alright, for a while.
then i get to this segment where you’re running around this really narrow snakey floating platform that goes around everywhere.
and the numbers are chasing you.
and somehow, i fuck up and die.
so, there goes that.

then actually i remember, it was then almost like i was now watching a youtube video of it.
complete with some random fuck in a facecam in the corner.
i watch him go through the areas i did, thinking about how i could do this generally.
eventually though, the perspective seems to zoom out so i can see the rest of the course as he goes.
it looks fucking awful and annoying and difficult, so then i lose the will to keep playing basically and say “fuck this”, pretty much.

so that’s pretty much my dream, what i remember.

SEPTEMBER 14th, 2019

i had a dream where the first part seemed to be somewhere my family was, and some of their friends or extended family or something.
it seemed like our old house, that we moved out of last.
i remember sitting in the entrance room near the front door.
someone’s dog came over and kinda just hung out there.
which is weird, because usually dogs in dreams attack me, or are otherwise kind of odd.
but this one was more just like our dog, except it was black and a bit bigger.
probably a different breed but i dunno.
i don’t remember much else in this area.
other than the layout being a bit different than usual, but in some way i don’t remember the exacts of.
makes sense for a dream.

the other part though was more interesting.
i was driving, and at first it seemed like i was in some parking lot.
but then, by squeezing a bit through some areas for some reason, i arrived at a familiar place, which i’ve seen before in dreams.
it’s this little corner of an area, i’m not sure how to describe it, but it’s generally set in this larger industrial yard area.
there’s some kind of garage or building, and a bit of an alcove on the right side of sorts.
with some equipment and such lining the corners and walls there.
or something like that.
it seems like a dirt floor, or a light grey concrete/asphalt one.

either way, i recognize this area, as something i’ve never been to alone, or even never been to outside of dreams.
i’m not sure how i conceptualized it, in or out of a dream or not, but i recognized it.
i think i really haven’t been there in any dream where i’m not being driven by my mom or something, so it might’ve been a first.
anyway, i think i sort of haphazardly park somewhere and try to get out to walk around.
or, well, this is where the events get unclear.
i might’ve just kept driving, and the car turned into this fourwheeler thing somehow.
or i got out and walked around a bit, and found the fourwheeler and started driving it.
either way, i do a bit of exploring and looking around and that happens somewhere.

it’s an interesting area, really.
it’s just this huge industrial yard type place.
lots of dirt, freight trains, giant structures of those red metal beams, sheds and garages and assortments of construction tools and materials everywhere.
it seems very complex, in my head at least.
that’s the only place it exists at all, i suppose.
but anyway, there’s also this large body of water in the middle of some area.
seemingly man made, i don't know, but it's certainly lake-sized.
but i’m driving the fourwheeler, and i turn a corner of dirt near the water.
the vehicle kind of dips into the water, because i turn badly or don’t have much room, and it gets stuck.
so i leave it behind, kind of irritated or impatient.

then is the interesting part.
i start walking along trying to get back to my other vehicle as soon as possible.
i come across a set of train tracks, and without thinking i try to walk past quickly.
but after a few steps, i look to my left, and a freight train is coming at full speed.
i know i won’t be able to avoid it, but i try to cross anyway.
it hits me.
it doesn’t hurt or anything, because i seem to instantly start losing consciousness or something.
but then i wake up.
i remember thinking something before/while it happens, like “that’s a freight train coming to hit me“.
weird, huh?

AUGUST 25th, 2019

i had a weird long explorey kind of dream.
i don't realy remember how it connects together, but i remember certain parts of it.

i remember in one part, i’m in my room.
i think some of my younger siblings might be in there, for some reason.
but my mom entrusts me with a set of drinks that are left on my bathroom counter.
they’re all big clear plastic cups with lids, like you’d find in starbucks or something.
some bigger than others.
i think some with the round top you see on like, milkshakes or icees or whatever.
and they’re all filled with thick liquid in colorful shades of red and pink, it appears.
so i ask my mom what these are, and if i can have any.
she tells me.
i think some of them are just icees or smoothies, with some goofy name like “passionberry blast” or some shit.
but for some reason, some of them are instead just cups of chicken noodle soup with food coloring or something in it.
then i notice the ones with chunks of chicken and noodle floating around in them.
then, naturally, my mom leaves and i go to try one of the soups.
it’s not bad.
i think at this part though, i am only covered by a really small towel for some reason?
so i’m slightly concerned with that at the time, but also not really.
it’s weird how that is in my dreams.
maybe it means something.
being naked and wanting to cover it, but not having much.
and sort of half noticing it enough to feel discomfort, but not noticing enough to care particularly all that much.

but anyway.
another part was me and my mom and some siblings in the garage i think.
my mom was working on something?
and i think i was trying to talk with her.
i think she said something that implied she was too stressed out to deal with me, or didn’t care about it.
it felt bad, and i tried to get her attention again or show her that i was feeling bad in a weird attention seeking way but it didn’t work.
there’s that part.
another part was in my backyard i think.
there was some random guy there.
and what i do is find this round inner tube i think.
and uhhh, i might’ve been wearing some weird scuba diving suit or something at this point.
because i remember maneuvering in such a way where i duck my head down into the collar of this suit, and down around the chest area and stretching it over my head or something.
something weird.
and somehow i achieve a strange combination so filled with dark energy that i gain the ability to quickly fly around as high as i want, like i’m in a UFO.
i remember humming “battle against a machine” to myself as i flew up and around.
eventually i come back down for a bit, and the guy has an inner tube on and asks me how i’m doing it.
and i try to tell him the exact instructions, then he flies around too.
this is good.

next is the more explorey parts.
there was a lot of things before this segment i think, but the last thing i remember is this mall area.
which is sort of one big area, almost laid out in a colosseum type manner.
which in this case means sort of like a ground floor with increasingly larger spaces in the middle with every floor above it, so that each one can see a bit of the one below like a staircase.
so i was exploring around here for a little bit.
i feel like i was actually here twice.
the first time, i went relatively quickly to the exit.
and the next, i was leading someone around first or something, some little kid character person thing.
at one point we get to some place in the top floor near the edge, and we see an escalator going down outside of the enclosure.
it seems like we’re in a tropical place, with the ocean nearby.
it’s not clear where the treadmill starts to go, but it’s not something we are concerned with.

there’s an elevator nearby that we ride down.
it has a window, but we conveniently don’t really look out of it.
some other people walk in right before the door closes and ride the elevator down with us.
for some reason, at first we stand near the window, but move away in fear that we’ll tip it over or something.
anyway though, the other parts are where it gets more interesting.
in the middle of the ground floor, there’s some sort of wormhole or pit or something, with a way down.
that’s the exit.
it takes you to some labyrinth area of some kind.
the design of the walls and such seem sort of chaotic.
a lot of weird colors like green and purple and pink and some stripes or other designs like that, although it’s still dark.
it seems like there are hallways and rooms.
it’s very cramped.
i think because i’m playing so much minecraft lately, a lot of monsters from that are around these areas.
but i take care of them pretty easily.

eventually, i think there’s some kind of portal or something here that takes me to a different area.
i’m not sure.
but this other area is like, it’s sort of like the maze but even stranger.
and it’s not a maze anymore, but some kind of open void with various shapes or structures in it, like some kind of weird platforming area.
they have even more chaotic designs or textures or whatever on them.
i come out on this set of cubes floating in the void connected to each other i think, with some trailing off at a distance i’m not sure i can jump.
to the right side i think is some kind of castle wall type thing, though obviously with much bigger and simpler geometry.
i feel like there’s some strange creature or thing there, crawling or floating or sitting somehwere.
it actually almost feels like one of those pink elephant floating things i saw in LSD dream emulator occasionally.
and on that note, the chaotic areas sort of remind me of similar areas i saw too there.
weird geometry, chaotic colorful textures, dark and foggy.
but, i don’t remember much else.

cool dream.

MAY 19th, 2019

i’m gonna do this again.
i remember, i saw somehow like, a minecraft let’s play by this particular guy who seemed familiar.
which seems particularly absurd, now that i think about it in context.
but he was familiar, because i had a dream with him before.
where he owned this large mansion or estate of sorts, close to the sea.
i had a dream involving it once.

in this dream though, i saw that and decided i wanted to visit him again.
after all this time.
so i did.
i knew somehow that the method i used to get there was exactly the same in the original dream.
which is very interesting.
but i forgot what that method was exactly.
anyway, i come out, somewhere near the edge of the open sea, where there is like a river-like pool winding up to the some entrance of the house.
this man also has two daughters, who are swimming with me.
they seem like older children or maybe teenagers.
i swim with them to some extent, but it’s clear they don’t know who i am because they tell me not to swim too close to them.
but i keep going.
they’re talking and laughing amongst themselves too.
but eventually i get to a place with stairs i can use to get out.

it’s a very ornate area that i do remember in some detail, but have difficulty describing.
very beautiful and ethereal somehow, which is also a contributing factor to how difficult it seems to properly describe.
it seems like sort of a greek architecture type thing, vaguely.
marble everywhere and plants and vines and such, but it’s still sort of a house.

anyway, i see the man.
he is now very old.
which i don’t think was the case last time.
i remember just sitting with him for a moment, and then saying hello.
i can’t remember what we talked about in particular, if anything.
i think i tried to explain who i was to see if he remembered, but then i started feeling myself being taken out of the dream.
so i stopped.
he didn’t seem to have a problem with me there, perhaps he did recognize me.
i don’t know.
he called over his wife as well, which he apparently has.
i don’t think that was the case last time.
but he was trying to talk to his wife, and had trouble, because they both could not hear well.
he had hearing aids, but he told me she refused to use them.

another thing i remember is looking off into the near distance.
past the snaking pool there was a road, like a circular cul-de-sac.
and i saw several multicolored trucks go down and park at various places, or keep going.
after that, more people seemed to show up, like it was some event.
i think after that i decided to leave.
perhaps said goodbye.

but that was about it.

MARCH 23rd, 2019

it’s been a while.
my dreaming has slowed down.
but last night was interesting i think.
i can’t remember much of it, but it seemed very exploration focused.
though, i remember exploring with other people for some reason.
i mainly remember this part where i get teleported inside the pyramid from mario 64, near the top.
it’s huge, and there’s some walking around i think.
i can barely see down to the bottom, and it’s very dark and foggy, and seemingly low resolution.
which is very COOL and SPOOKY.

and i think i have to fall in quicksand to access the next area.
it doesn’t hurt or anything.
everything almost seems like third person somehow.
but anyway, then i get teleported to some abandoned church type area.
which seemed to me the most interesting somehow.
it was somehow unfamiliar.
dark, foggy, and low resolution like the other area.
i just remember a wide curving hallway.
perhaps some kind of dark carpet on the floor with whitish walls.
and no windows, or at least nothing shining through them.
there must have been at least one room to the side that i entered.
a small room that i don’t remember much about.
thinking about it, everything seems familiar in a way to churches i’ve been to, but not in layout.
and not in that uncanny darkness.

i think around there is when i woke up, at 5 AM.
i fell asleep accidentally.
i also remember a part somewhere, of being in a large store and running around very quickly.
almost being on ice, where it’s difficult to stop myself.
well, i suppose that is just momentum, going very fast.
but anyway, my mom might have been there somewhere.
just a very large costco type store.
trying to run around and avoid things for fun.
if i failed, i just kind of turned around as i ran and hit it with my back.
which seemed effective in preventing major damage somehow.
so whatever, cool dream i guess.

FEBRUARY 14th, 2019

at the start, it was extremely vivid, and colorful.
i was at the top of some structure, like some sort of roof that curved upward steeper and steeper to a point, but not too steep.
some kinda wizard tower or something, i dunno.

i did notice how vivid it was.
so i think i was somewhat lucid.
i walked to the edge of the strange structure, looking across everything.
that was really cool.
i could see a lot.
the ground seemed to be mostly dirt, like brown dirt.
it was mostly flat near the structure but it seemed to be surrounded by a valley of greenish mountains, or hills i guess.
and i THINK i could see another tower in the distance.

but i was really looking around.
it almost felt like i was awake and looking through some kind of VR headset or something.
it was really cool.
the sky, some clouds.
then i started walking along the roof a bit.

i think i got the idea to “summon” chara or something.
even though i was already talking to him somehow.
but i was walking along, trying to imagine him in front of me.
and then i closed my eyes and opened and i think he appeared, as something physical.
but at the same time though, he was very weak.
it felt like i was just visualizing chara as normal, his form wasn’t as potent as the surroundings.

even in my dreams i’m not good at it...
i guess i do need to practice..... i guess......

FEBRUARY 2nd, 2019

i don’t remember much about last night, but one part stuck out before i woke up.

so i suppose i was outside for some reason, with a bunch of people.
something was happening there, like a gathering of some kind.
not too large, and it was on some grass in our neighborhood somewhere, near the mountains.
but i think my family was there or something, there were people i could talk to or say something to apparently.

because i was looking up at the sky.
and i saw that there were many bright stars in one area of the sky, it was sort of dense there.
i called out and said how beautiful it looked over there.
but then i saw something happen.
the sky in that area seemed to be brighter, like it was above some city or something.
but one star above the mountain seemed bigger than the rest, slightly.
the rest of the sky around it started to warp inwards toward that star, the rest of the stars around it as well.
i called out that it seemed like a vortex, still unsure though of what it really was.
but then the stars around this large star began to get sucked inside of it, and very very quickly the large star grew exponentially bigger and bigger in the sky.
then i knew the world was going to end and i was going to die.

so for the few seconds it took, i waited.
it grew so large so quickly it didn’t even look or feel like much.
just a second passes and everything goes dark, everything is gone.
i seem to be conscious for a few seconds after the darkness.
waiting to be taken out of existence, at first feeling slight fear and surprise, but then a washing over feeling of peace.
i feel like i see a memory of some kind before i pass, but i’m not sure what it is.
like looking at some webpage or forum index.
how odd.

after this memory and this peace, it ends.
i simply wake up.
isn’t that interesting?

FEBRUARY 1st, 2019

pretty weird dream.
this one was after one i already had i think, which i forgot.
i woke up at like 7 and went back to sleep.

this one was a little spooky.
so i was in our house, and someone knocks on the door.
i answer it.
big mistake.
i already feel nervous about it for whatever reason, but do it anyway.
some large mexican guy answers the door, smiling, and i say something like “hello?” while backing up a little.
he says something like “i’ve got something for you”, still smiling, me still backing up, and he throws some orange orb object into the house, onto some rocks in the courtyard.
it makes a beeping noise like a bomb about to go off.
so i just run off back into the house, still allowing him entrance inside by the way.
and try to yell to everyone about some bomb going off or something.
i run upstairs for some reason into some bedroom that i don’t think i recognize.
but i lie there for a little while, hearing the “bomb”, expecting him to come in and murder me.
nothing seems to happen.
i don’t really hear anyone except for some footsteps.
i don’t hear the bomb anymore.
and i fall asleep, or perhaps wake up as if this itself was a dream.
but it’s just more.

i wake up in a slightly different bedroom, and it seems a lot more realistic and vivid.
one of my siblings and my mom i think are in the room, also quite vivid.
they seem to speak to me, and it feels off.
like something happened to them and made them robots.
maybe the “bomb”.
i get up, and get dressed or something, i look around.
they might have wanted me to go outside or something.

i remember some part where we were in a movie theatre?
it wasn’t that dark.
didn’t seem like a movie was playing, either.
but my grandparents and my uncle on my dads side were there.
and my grandmother seemed to get into some fight with my uncle somehow.
i couldn’t see well but it looked like she tore off his arm and suplexed him into the seats in front.
but apparently it was just some puppet which he picked up afterwards.
and he pointed his puppet arm sort of in my general direction, not necessarily on purpose but it made me jump a bit even in the dream, like what happens in real life.
like i think someone’s going to throw something at me and instinctively get ready to dodge.

but anyway, another part was in some area with some people.
it seems like people my age but i dunno, like some residential situation, you know.
i don’t remember too much about this part.
but there was some area with chocolate at a really high point in some complex we were in.
like we were in some house living area for most of the time, but it had a sky roof where you could see up to some higher areas.
and go out in a direction and up some escalators or something to reach them.
i visited the chocolate/eating area once but didn’t do much.
there was some guy selling i think.
but another person bought some chocolates, and came back down.
seemingly out the window and down through the sky roof for some reason.
but uhhhhh, he offered me chocolates, but cake and chocolate pie was being served, so i refused.
but he kept offering anyway, so i just took one.
it was good.
the pie was good too.

overall good end to the dream.
i think that was the end anyway.
last thing i remember.

JANUARY 26th, 2019

this one had lots of walking around it seems.
very cool.

so the earliest i seem to remember is walking outside in some parking lot.
basically thinking to myself as i do it, “i guess walking around by myself out here isn’t so bad”.
something was before that, but i forget.
anyway, the parking lot is mostly empty save for a few people.
the recognizable ones i could remember were
some kind of mixed race guy and his girlfriend it seems.
a full on jewish person, with the beard and the hair and the clothes and the hat.
a really tall couple that seemed like they were 8 feet tall or something.
that’s about it.

i passed by several stores and decided to go into the one that the tall couple was standing next to.
i walked around for a bit down the aisles and such.
i seemed to find an area that was like a bathroom?
but it wasn’t in a room, just surrounded by shelves/short walls on all sides like some kind of kids pen or something.
someone was coming out and it seems i was in their way.

i think soon enough i find some area with escalators.
something to mention by this point is that i seemed to only have one shoe, i am not sure why or when that happens in the dream exactly but by this point it was off.
it made it difficult to walk, it was almost like an ice level in a video game weirdly enough, no traction and sliding everywhere.
i looked around at some escalators going down but i got nervous and just took stairs.
which were a little difficult, but not by much.

next i find an area similar to that open lobby i described in that school dream, that i’ve seen before.
it seems my dreams involving stores/malls have very similar areas.
i find a door outside after going past a security guard.
it was sort of small, in a way.
sort of a circular area, lined on the sides by a dirt mound wall going all around.
on my left seemed to be the building extending in another direction, maybe 2 or 3 floors high, sort of like an office building or apartment looking thing, with balconies and such.
modern office look.
on my right may have been more building, can’t remember.
but in front, i climbed the mound a bit and i could see just over the area that some place i had been to earlier in the dream (which i’m not sure i can remember) was on the other side.
it was like some pool area with a building on the right side and overlooking mountains on the left.
from that description it seems like a side profile view of my house.
but the pool was square and large like a public pool might be with a diving board and all, and the building was office-like, or at least quite large and blocky.

the security guard came outside eventually.
and i couldn’t quite make out exactly what he said, but it seemed like he wanted me inside.
he also brought out some dog which he insisted wouldn’t hurt me and he told it to calm down, as it was growling at me.
the dog was very small though and didn’t cause problems, i think i pushed it back with my foot as i passed it?
anyway, the guard leads me somewhere.
somehow we find ourselves outside again, seemingly on top of the building(s).
it feels like his house is nearby, so i am careful not to trespass.
i see a few sets of odd out of place construction wood stairs but don’t climb them because it seems to lead to his home.
they’re kind of nonsensically going into the sky off of some portion of the roof, and into some slightly higher building which seems to be his.

anyway, it gets hazy, but i seem to find some wooden play set area.
around then i seem to figure that i can swing and jump around very easily.
maybe that’s how i find myself wherever that is.
but it doesn’t seem like the wooden play set has a floor.
so i kind of hang and swing precariously around the small area.
around then is when i realize it’s a dream and start to wake up.
for some reason it feels like i was talking to chara.
maybe that happened when i regained consciousness of myself.

that’s all i can remember, i think.

JANUARY 19th, 2019

(i think i waited too long and forgot some of my dream)
i picked up a pet bird in someone’s room that went loose and held it like a baby trying to get it somewhere.
and i remember this one part at least, because it was near the end i think.
somehow i got transported outside a school of some kind, while kids were having recess.
i think i was their age or something, like i wasn’t out of place.
or maybe they just ignored me.
even though i was nervous that they wouldn’t and they would be mean or something.
sort of like the other school dream, in those respects.

anyway, the area was very concrete heavy.
i think i must have seen at least one grassy zone in the background, but most of it was concrete.
where i started out seemed to be a concrete square with no discernible walls but a staircase, a very large one, on the left side.
just a concrete staircase, with pretty large steps i think.
large enough for someone to sort of sit on relatively comfortably, but small enough to walk up.
there may have been a rail down the middle too but not sure.
and perhaps a concrete block on the left side going up to where the elevated area is.
on the ground area i immediately saw some groups of kids.
they must have been at least high school age, maybe middleschool, maybe younger?
it was hard to tell.
i think some were playing ball.
some were sitting.

i went up the steps.
at the top was sort of a plateau area, with more kids around.
i think there were some benches, maybe staircases on either side, but definitely one in front of me, or somewhere.
nowhere to go further up, just down.
i think i was looking for a place to sit.
to try and avoid everyone.
but i couldn’t find anywhere i felt comfortable.
i thought about using a bench.
or sitting on the steps, which i saw some kids do.
but i kept on walking.

i went down the stairs in front of me to another area.
i think this one had less people.
after i got down the stairs, it was different from the other side seemingly.
on my left side, might have been a wall?
on my right was a shorter wall and something else in the near distance.
before i think another wall, further in that direction.
it may have been something like a basketball court, or tennis court.
not too far away.
no one seemed to be there.
i didn’t look very closely.
but i kept walking down the path with no one.

i think soon enough i got inside somewhere.
to some... tall, but not large, room.
with a tall concrete structure in the middle that i attempted to climb.
it seemed sort of like a framework square sort of thing, just corners and edges.
or just enough of something to climb up.
it also seemed overgrown, or maybe just the walls of this room were.
i was climbing to the top, because light seemed to be streaming through some hole in the ceiling, bathing the room in natural light.

but as i climbed up, i think i started thinking about how this is a dream.
and that sort of ended it, i think.
more and more hazy until

that’s all i remember.
interesting ending.


the minecraft part now.
i don’t actually remember that much.
this happened before the school portion, i think.
maybe the school was sort of self contained and the ending just woke me up into a different dream, i dunno.
in minecraft world, me and my brother were actually playing together, i think.
which is interesting actually.
we haven’t played together in a long time.
but, it seemed like a server that was public somehow.
it was just wilderness everywhere, but there were players scattered about.
some didn’t do anything, just let me kill them out of self defense.
very difficult self defense situation.
some seemed more aggressive.
it was kinda nerve wracking.

there was a part where me and my brother were together and we fought this guy with a sniper rifle.
it’s pretty strange and juvenile i suppose, but whatever.
i can’t judge a DREAM alright, who cares.
but i found another sniper rifle and “”””got his ass”””” (scientific term).
there was some enderman in a hole that was angry.
poor guy.

i don’t really remember anything else.
i don’t remember where the bird that i held like a baby factored in.
in was in a different area.
i had to take it around somewhere, find it’s owner maybe.
or just a place where it was safe.
and i think i did good.

poor bird.
i hope it has a good dream-life now.

JANUARY 15th, 2019

my dream was about my mom making taquitos
and uhhhhhh
i was playing minecraft.
mining for diamonds.
and i found a stronghold, cause there were stone bricks there.
and a light layer of moss above, sort of in holes.
and then spiders dropped out of the holes.
or actually, just their eggs.
and some mini spiders out of those i had to squish.
which had to be very precise, and was very annoying.

i had this inventory which was like, the screen switching to a view of a bright and happy looking room, with a window/screen door with a white drape covering it and a small table close to the floor right in front of it, closer to the foreground i guess you would say.
and some shelves or something off to this side if you look left or right.
you can’t look behind.
it’s restricted, or at least i didn’t try.
but it was basically an inventory screen.
there were little items on the floor, and you could seemingly drag a set of them around to equip in certain slots.
or maybe to use them if they were on the table.
i dunno, it wasn’t clear how it worked and i messed it up a couple times.
trying to kill the spiders.

i don’t think i remember much else.

JANUARY 12th, 2019

yesterday's dream involved a school seemingly.
i kept getting the message by someone that it was an important day.
there was a part where i find a secret area in a weird treehouse complex thing at home, and find two old women making out in a car.
but school zone first.

so basically what happened in the school was that, first of all, i wasn’t a part of it i don’t think.
i just went to walk around for fun while classes were active.
but i was nervous about being thought of as a student and being told not to walk out of the place, or back in from somewhere else.
never happened, but i was nervous.

outside the place was like a shopping mall.
a parking lot with a road around lining the sidewalk which then bordered the shops around, and the biggest building which was a school.
i think it was more ornate, but i can’t remember those details well.
inside was interesting seemingly, like a fancy lobby area, wide open with a staircase upwards and sort of a circular or maybe hexagonal shape, polygon of some kind.
it feels familiar.
but in a regular shop way, and with no staircase before.
the stairs were in the middle and took up a lot of space with some empty space for perhaps rooms on either side.
there may have been a check in counter in front too.
there also may have been students or people walking up and down the stairs, but maybe everyone was already around.

actually inside the school zone, it seems to be mostly hallway.
a somewhat cramped hallway.
definitely not a school hallway, more like a strange house hallway, or that of an office.
it seemed to have bland yellowish colors, or something similar.
there were definitely students walking around, and teachers.
but i don’t remember much about them, they obviously weren’t a focus point and didn’t interact with much.
just walking around, aimlessly it seems.
i don’t know if i went inside any rooms.
i at least was walking around some of the hallways, and i think what i wanted to do was, i got bored of the school area and wanted to leave to one of the nearby shops but was scared of being thought of as a student and pulled back in against my will.
so i must have entered some back room, or bathroom.
it’s uncertain what it really was, it seemed dark-ish.
i think it brought me to a shop, but i don’t remember anything about a shop, so maybe it was a dead end.
i may have just exited the school through the entrance, and felt relieved.
or actually, maybe the room led me out into the lobby room, but underneath and to a door to the right side (looking from entrance) of the stairs.
because i remember walking to that side underneath them.
but i also remember going down the stairs?
or maybe just walking around the lobby, or some elevated platform above it.

i made it outside.
so, next part of the dream.
which, i don’t know how exactly it transitioned, but now i’m at my house, it seemed.
“my house” seems like a lot of wooden shack constructions or something.
actually, i don’t even remember much else aside from what i mentioned at the start.
it was also the last thing to happen i think so, whatever.
but anyway, at this point, it seems to be night time.
the surrounding area seems similar to the white fence zone.
typical desert like area with a lot of dirt and no trees, and constructions of some kind pretty tightly packed together, and houses.
i don’t know if i saw many houses, though.

but anyway, for some reason i’m snooping around, and i squeeze back between this somewhat narrow dark wooden structure.
not too big, just treehouse sized really, with a long ish passage to the side, where there was a platform with a small opening to the top right above.
so i try to climb up.
it’s sort of a narrow rectangular slit on one side of the small “ceiling", so i have to squeeze through and climb my legs against the walls to push myself.
but eventually i get up.

i think i look around, there may be a pillar that i climb up on to get a better look, just slightly higher up.
it’s nighttime of course, but i don’t remember if the stars in the sky were particularly pretty.
i remember a mountain being nearby to the west like in our neighborhood here, and looking out over plenty of structures/houses over the area.
but right next to me, on the ground, is a car parked.
it must not be that low to the ground because i could easily see through the back(?) window to check what’s going on.
i see two old women sitting in the front seats.
i don’t know if they’re that old, at least like 40 maybe.
but i take glances as i’m sitting there admiring the scenery, and i think i catch them kissing/making out.
and it makes me feel uncomfortable because i don’t know if they saw me and i don’t want to ruin their intimate moment.
so i look away after i think i see something and focus on everything else.
but then, my sister comes along for some reason.
and decides to move the pillar i’m sitting on over to the right away from the car, perhaps because she knows i might be bothering them or something.
so i guess i feel weird and guilty but don’t care other than that, and she doesn’t really interact with me otherwise.
i don’t know if i remember much else.

the feeling or knowledge that it was an “important day” keeps coming to me though.
but i can’t remember any details about that feeling.
it was a big factor in the dream though, it must have been.
at the very least, a recurring theme or feeling.
maybe just in the fence zone area, i dunno.
but it was there and i can’t remember why it was prominent.

DECEMBER 28th, 2018

i had a DREAM.
there was something about turning some “feature” on that i don’t usually use.
because life is like a video game, etc.
but first i was in this church area, it looked like our old mormon church.
which means it was basically three types of rooms.

a big basketball court in middle (or throughout the building in this case)
and small rooms

with the last two, in real life, the hallways surround the center court room, and the small rooms branch off from the hallways.
but of course, here it depends.
so i guess i found my way into some room, with a door.
and the door transported me to some other room without visually changing much.
yume 2kki style of course.
but i think this lead to some door outside.
to some grassy area with little detail, like a flat grass map in a video game.
but there was another house i find, and i go inside i think.

i can’t remember, but this one might have been mostly empty with another teleport upstairs.
or perhaps a bigger on the inside deal with another door somewhere that leads to a new area.
but eventually i find myself in what seems to be my own house...
and something happens to let asriel in????
this may be the “feature”.
making undertale real, or something.
but anyway okay, asriel is aggressive.
he’s also hyperdeath form.
not with any cool powers, just hyperdeath.
so, i think i have to avoid him, and he taunts me or something.
i think eventually i try to escape, after failing to get him out of my house or something.
and he stabs me in the back as i run out, yelling “BACKSTAB” or something.
and i come out the way i came back to the church area, also yume 2kki style of course.
and then i wake myself up by first pinching myself and then counting my fingers.

something about it scared me.
there was an element of SURVIVAL and HORROR.

DECEMBER 26th, 2018

last night seemed to be something online, like i must have been playing yume 2kki in some areas that seemed new.
also, i remember looking at my board, seeing myself post random test images and shit.
it felt like i had seen that before, which is strange.
but i also had a point where i was walking around.
it felt like how i was walking around yesterday.
my feet were tired and i felt tired in general, just shambling along like a zombie, sort of.
i was in this area with tall white picket fence.
not that tall i think, just like around my height.

i think i was walking along some path, but most of the ground was rocks.
it almost reminds me of my childhood home.
the one i spent the most time in.
it had rocks and the white picket fence.
well, a white plastic fence.
but it’s close enough.
anyway, i came to some clearing, and it was sort of like a rectangle, i was at a corner and went to the other short corner where it then went diagonal across to the other longer side.
and i saw a dog.
a big dog.
it may have been black? sort of black with brown stripes or something, brown spots.
so i started backing up as it approached me, because i expected it to approach me.
that always happens.
i fuck it up with expectations.
but what happens is, some man comes into the scene and approaches the dog, and the dog starts following him.
i look and see what’s going on.
he’s off the path.
once the dog gets to him he starts petting it and it seems to become docile.
so i think maybe i could do that, or maybe he’s taken care of it for me.
but then i see another dog at the end of the path.
i can’t remember what it looked like.
maybe white, but i don’t think so.
maybe a pitbull, or at the very least aggressive looking.
then it chased me and i got knocked over.
i think i got knocked over by something else, actually.
maybe the other dog.
but i saw a dog in my face and don’t remember anything after that.

white fence area seemed familiar.

DECEMBER 16th, 2018

the main setting was our house, but it’s different.
it’s bigger, more like a mansion, but certain aspects of the interior are more or less the same.
it is also surrounded by great expansive land, at least in the back.
i remember i had to do something with my father, but i am not sure what.

one part involves entering my room.
the courtyard was similar, it seemed to be raining, but only some parts of the floor were wet.
i could hear the rain regardless.

i went out in my socks.
ah, right.
i had to get my shoes on.
my room is slightly different.
bigger, perhaps.
for some reason, the architecture of the place seems japanese, but i don’t recall any specific details.
i had a small television on the floor, and my shoes.
the back of the room had windows looking out into the expanse beyond.
and a door, or perhaps that was a separate area.

i went out there and started walking for some distance.
i cant remember if that was how i got there, but there’s another area too.
one i have seen before.
a road, close to the sea.
the sea is on the left side.
on the right, you seem to pass a trailer park first.
but i didn’t go there because i recognized it as “dangerous”.
keep going, and you find a shop overlooking the sea, with a parking lot around it.
i didn’t go there during the dream, but i remember it to a degree.
i think the inside is very small, but neon pink and blueish.
it’s narrow, but that’s all i remember.

back to the expanse.
it’s very grassy, wide, open.
occasional slightly diverging dirt paths that go back into each other.
going back to the house, i notice it is very big.
i may have been running.
back inside, there’s another area i think, where the kitchen would be somewhere is a door outside to some sort of path going around the perimeter, slightly elevated off the ground.
i ran around that to get somewhere, i don’t know where.
the task my father ended up wanting me to do probably had something to do with taking out the trash.
i don’t remember that.